-Fred Stock

                 Went looking for a street name the other day, and after finding it, I was curious if the same street existed a decade ago. Dug out an old Thomas Brothers guide and started perusing the index. Then it hit me. These names are almost all “appropriate”. Being a nut case who lives to play with words, I went looking for the in-appropriate ones. Cheeese!!

              Of course, you’ll find “ Yellow B rick Road ” and “Easy Street” but those are under the “appropriate” label. Of course, all the names here are state names; Kansas , New York , Warner Trail … ahh, never mind. A few were the kinds of words that conjure up diseases and conditions. There was Aptos Street … named perhaps after a disease which was cured in the ‘40’s.  There’s Awa Circle ; “What?” Awa Circle ! “Huh?” Oh, never mind, just turn right! Up in Riverside there is a short street in the Oriental area of town named “ Wong Way ” and yes, it’s a one-way street! ...so you can go the wong way on it!

              Then, logically (logical to me at least) the names you couldn’t get past the city planning commission under any circumstances started to pop into mind. For instance, what business would be willing to locate on “Wait Street” or “ Defect Blvd. ” The Ford dealer in Cathedral City was located on “ Second Street ” but then they changed the name! Only banks and medical offices could be placed on “ Greedy St. ” and you will have problems naming roadways “ Osama Lane ” or “ Dammer Way ”. I doubt you’ll find “ Drunken Place ”, “ Pothole Road ”, “ Useless Road ” or “ Endless Avenue .”  Yah, I live right at the corner of Gridlock Place and Terrorism Way . Uh-uhh! Not going to find “ Ugly St. ”, “Dirty St.”, “Smelly Street” either – probably just as well! “You live WHERE?”

             Imaging a huge skyscraper in a business and finance district located on “Dirt Road” near “Narrow Path”. Now there may be a specialized sports business that would locate its headquarters on “ 93-Yard Drive ”. In some cities you can actually go the intersection of “First” and “Ten”.  But I defy you to find businesses on “ Aggravation Ct. ” or “ Slow Way ” or “No Way” although in Rancho Mirage there was a street named “None-Such St.” I think they re-named it – maybe “Yes-There-Is-Too” ? In Hemet there is one called “ Whicha Way ”. Up near Jurupa there is “Down” Street and not far away, “Upper” Road, but they probably had a different connotation when they were named than today! There is a street in Kansas called “Dead End” but it’s not. And would you open your advertising business on “ Flack Way ”? Somebody in Minnesota did!

              Now, this article is finished. That means it’s time to switch your brain back to normalcy… try to relax… breathe slowly… focus! There! That’s better! –fhs